逆流而上
　　路阻且长
　　所谓伊人
　　非诚勿扰
　　
　　go upstream
　　hard and long
　　right the one
　　hearty or none

自我介绍一下，我，岁数已经不小了，日子小康，抽烟不喝酒，留学生身份出去的，在国外生活过十几年，没正经上过学，蹉跎中练就一身生存技能，现在学无所成海外归来，实话实说应该定性为一只没有公司没有股票没有学位的“三无劣海龟”。性格OPEN，人品五五开，不算老实人，但天生胆小，杀人不犯法我也杀不了人，伤天害理了自己良心也备受摧残，命中注定想学坏都当不了大坏蛋。总体而言基本上还是属于对人类对社会有益无害的一类。

Let me introduce myself for you. I'm a man whose age is no longer young, living a moderately well-off life, who doesn't drink but smoke. I went abroad as a student and spent more than a decade living abroad, but never attended a real education. In wasting time, I learned all sorts of ways to make a living. Now I returned with no achivement at all. To tell you the truth, I should be judged as a “Fake Turtle" without the three--No company, no stocks and no degree. My personality is open;My character is neither good nor bad. I'm not exactly an honest man, but I am without much courage since I was born. Even it is not illegal to kill, I wouldn't kill anyone. My conscience will be tortured by the guilt if I do anything cruel to others。I am meant not to be a villain, even if I try to be one. In general and basically, I'm still one of those who are beneficial and harmless to the mankind and our society.
Contact me by phone, if you're the one.

Announcement

你要想找一帅哥就别来了，你要想找一钱包就别见了，硕士学历以上的免谈，上海女人免谈，女企业家免谈(小商小贩除外)，省得咱们互相都会失望。刘德华和阿汤哥那种财貌双全的郎君是 不会来征你的婚的，当然我也没有做诺丁山的梦。您要真是一仙女我也接不住，没期待您长得更画报封面一样看一眼就魂飞魄散。外表时尚，内心保守，身心都健康 的一般人就行，要是多少还有点儿婉约那就更靠谱了。心眼儿别太多岁数别太小，允许时常有不切实际的想入非非，但三句话就能给轰回现实还不气脑顶多有点儿难 为情地咧嘴一笑就该干吗干吗去了。我喜欢会叠衣服的女人，每次洗完烫平叠得都像刚从商店里买回来的一样。说得够具体了吧。

　　If you are looking for a handsome guy or a wallet,don't reply;If you hold a Master's degree or higher, not possible;girls born in Shanghai, not possible;female entrepreneurs(except small business hawker), not possible, so that we don't waste each other's hope。 The Andy Liu or Tom criuse kind,who are both wealthy and good-looking, would not make an announcement looking for you. Surely, I don't expect a Notting Hill story either. Even if you're indeed an angle, I won't be able to handle you---I don't expect that you looks like that girl on the magazine cover, just one look crushing people's soul. An average person, with outside stylishness and inside conservativeness,with fit body and mind,will just do, even better if you're beautifully shy. You need not to play too many tricks or be too young, from time to time, you're allowed to have unrealistic dreams, but a few words is enough to get you back into reality without getting you angry--a little embarassed grin at most,and then do what you ought to do. I like a woman who knows how to fold clothes in a way that whenever you finish washing, ironing and folding them, they will look just like when you bought them from stores. It cannot be more specific than this, can it?

Scene 1

舒淇：你真够没劲的，喝下去能死啊？

You drink like a wimp, it won't kill you ?

葛优：你喝你的，我又没拦着你……接着说。

Drink up,no one's stopping you.Keep talking.

舒淇：你听过一见钟情吗？

Heard of "love at first sight" ?

葛优：我一见你就挺钟情的

I loved the first sight of you

舒淇：咱们三见也钟不了情。一见钟情不是你一眼看上了我或者是我一眼看上了你。

We 're not even "love at third sight".Love at first sight doesn't mean I fall for you when I see you or that you fall for me.

不是看，是味道。彼此被对方的气味吸引了，迷住了。

It's not about sight, but smell. The other person's scent attracts you, enchants you .

气味相投，你懂吗？

Some people are made for each other.

葛优：两个陌生人，萍水相逢。一见面凑上去一通乱闻，可能吗？

So,two strangers rush up and sniff each other up and down ? Is that possible ?

舒淇：不用凑上去，相投的气味呢 隔着八丈远你都可以闻得到。你看过[动物世界]吗？

It's not like that, if you are made for each other you'd sense each other from far away.

Ever watch[Animal Planet] ?

葛优：看过。

Yes.

舒淇：动物之间啊就算隔着几十里远，都可以闻到对方的气味。人跟动物都是一样的。

Even from dozens of miles away animals can sense each other.People are just like animals .

葛优：那你只被一种气味吸引吗？动物可不是死盯着一个。

Are you only attracted by one smell ? Animals don't fixate on just one lover .

舒淇：只对一种，这种吸引是双向的。不只是吸引，而是一种迷恋。

It's about a type, it's a mutual thing . It's not just attraction , but a kind of infatuation .

其他的都排斥。

Anything else repels you.

葛优：那你大老远跑来跟我起什么哄啊？

Then why come all this way to bother me ?

舒淇：迷恋又不能在一起厮守，在迷恋中挣扎，每一分钟都撕心裂肺的。每一晚不喝晕了都过不下去。

Infatuated,but you can't be together. You struggle to break free from it . You're torn apart by heartache.

You drink yourself to sleep each night .

葛优：那男的有家，爱你又娶不了你，你父母不知道，有苦没地儿说去，是吧？

The man has a family.He loves you,but can't marry you. Your parents don't know.

It hurts, but you can't share it.

舒淇：跟谁也不能说。

I can't tell anyone.

葛优：那你怎么跟我说了？

Then why tell me ?

舒淇：我心里堵得难受，太委屈了。反正我跟你以后也没打算见面，你怎么看我都无所谓。

I couldn't take it anymore, I was hurt too badly. Anyway,I won't see you again .

who cares what you think of me .

葛优：那我得收费。便宜都让他占了，让我陪怨妇喝酒，你也太不跟我见外了。

Then I should charge a fee.He has all the fun and I get a miserable woman,since when are we best buddies ?

舒淇（钱包扔过去）：要多少你自己拿。但是你收了钱就得整杯地喝，不可以小口小口地抿。

Take as much as you want .But I'm paying you to drink up . You can't just sip .

葛优（钱包还回去）：我真的不能喝，免费陪你行了吧。

I really can't drink,I'll accompany you for free .

舒淇：不喝也行。我刚跟你说了一个我的秘密，你也得告诉我一件你不可告人的秘密吧，咱们谁也不欠谁。

So,don't drink.I told you one of my secrets.You should also tell me something you can't admit to anyone else.

Then we'll be even .

葛优：你怎么那么多事啊？

Why are you so complicated ?

舒淇：不想说算了，反正我也没有兴趣听。那就烂在你自己肚子里吧。本来我还以为你是挺大气的男人。就凭你，还想找一个性情中的女人。

Fine,don't tell me. I don't care,anyway,let it rot in your stomach.And I thought you were a big man.Just based on the fact   you're seeking an emotional woman .